


Drug Brothers

by artandatrocity



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Drug Use, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2017-12-03 13:27:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artandatrocity/pseuds/artandatrocity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard and Mikey accept roles in a play that cast them as brothers who unwittingly become involved in a dealer/drug purchaser relationship. Though their characters experience a brief romantic connection, it isn't a storyline that progresses further than one pivotal moment on stage. However when Mikey realizes that Gerard's character seems to bleed more than usual in to their real life, he becomes suspicious about his brother's mysterious actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The local theater house was doing the utterly unthinkable-- putting on a play. 

Being a theater, this technically made sense, but the play they planned to produce portrayed an unheard of taboo in their small town. 

“Drug Brothers” was about two brothers, Anthony and Josh. Set in New York City, the pair attempted to conceal their more-than-brotherly love for each other, and in the process became so engrossed in the drug scene that they almost lost one another completely. Drugs, gay incest… these touchy subjects were to be laid out in front of an audience. AND the producers said that they preferably wanted two actual brothers to play the roles, just to portray real brotherly chemistry in the acting. 

Mikey laid the paper back down on the kitchen table after reading the ad. Those producers were dreaming if they thought that they’d find two brothers around here willing to pick up the parts. Whichever poor, misguided souls jumped in to the show would forever become outcasts in the community. He picked his glass of milk up off the table to take a big gulp. 

As Mikey sat chuckling at the insane people in charge of what would surely turn into a fiasco, Gerard walked by holding a steaming cup of coffee. He picked up the paper and read the ad himself, sipping from the chipped ceramic mug. Raising an eyebrow he continued to read before setting the newsprint back on the table. Mikey turned around in his chair to look up at his brother. Gerard stood there, quietly drinking his black sludge while Mikey drank his milk wordlessly. This silent moment passed between them before Gerard finally broke it,

“Well we have to try out, of course.”

White liquid flew across the table as Mikey choked on the mouthful of milk he just attempted to ingest. Gerard patted him on the back as the younger Way tried to regain his composure. His mind was racing; Gerard wasn’t serious, was he? Mikey was a senior, he still had 6 months of school left; he still had the cruelty of teenagers descending upon him every day. Something like being in this play could make those next 6 months more of a living nightmare than they already promised to be. There was no way he would do this, no matter how much he enjoyed spending time with his brother.

So when Gerard asked,

“What do you say?”

Mikey hardly believed his response,

“Do you remember what time the auditions are?”

 

*****

 

Mikey never ventured into this theater before. In fact, before now, he didn’t know it existed. It was a relatively small building built in an obscure, run down part of town. The walls outside were coated with peeling, pale pink paint, with a dirty window exposing nothing but a drawn black curtain. A brass number “99” hung over the cracking oak door, but beyond that the building bore no identification whatsoever. Unless you knew what you were looking for, you would never know that this place contained a theatrical space.

Inside, however, was a different scene altogether. As soon as you opened the door you were greeted by a deep entryway, with a glorious chandelier hanging overhead. Walls were painted a dark blue and a short hallway led into the theater itself. The seats were rich, red plush and the stage itself stretched wide and immaculate, a with dusty rose curtain hanging above the floor.

Auditions were on a Tuesday at 3pm. Gerard barely had time to get Mikey from school and home to change out of his uniform before heading over to the theater. When they burst through the door at 3:01, the director greeted them with a warm smile and a handshake. He introduced himself as David, saying he was glad they came to audition, and that he appreciated the risk they took in doing so. David asked if either of them ever performed in any production before, and each answered “not really.” Both took minor roles in school plays in the past, but neither ever landed a lead character. The director smiled, saying that some great actors are meant only for certain lead roles. After writing their names on a sheet of paper atop a clipboard produced by a stage manager, the Way’s accepted copies of the script and began to peruse them.

Both brothers seated themselves in one of the comfy chairs to skim through the material. 

“Wow,” Mikey thought as he read, “this is some heavy shit.” Next to him Gerard silently flipped through the same pages. 15 minutes later, David spoke,

“I’m afraid you may be the only two who show up. Let’s hope you’re as good as I think you’ll be.” He smiled warmly.

“Great,” Mikey thought, “even if we suck we’ll be in this stupid play.” Why had he agreed to this? Oh yeah, because it was something Gerard wanted to do. He never managed to quite piece together why he was always so eager to concede to his brother’s whims.

Now David was speaking again,

“If you two feel ready, please go up on stage with the scripts and turn to page 93. I’ll give you a brief synopsis of the scene.”

Gerard practically jumped out of his seat to clamber up the side steps to the stage. Mikey moved little slower, still not so sure about this. Finally, though, he stood next to Gerard, the words on page 93 glaring up at him. 

“Now,” David began, “in this scene Anthony, the younger brother, is trying to buy drugs from a dealer he found on the street. The dealer wears a hooded sweatshirt and the lighting is poor, so Anthony can’t see his face, but the man refuses to sell him the coke Anthony asks for. It turns out that the dealer is his older brother, Josh. Neither brother knew about the other’s addictions or dealings. Both brothers get angry at the other for keeping such secrets, and end up yelling at each other, screeching their displeasure. Josh manages to silence Anthony with a simple gesture.”

David paused.

“And that is what is happening on those couple of pages.” He smiled. “Now, please begin.”

Gerard turned to face Mikey, his part being first,

“If you’d told me I could’ve helped you!” he yelled, his voice packed with an emotion that Mikey couldn’t believe he mustered.

It was Mikey’s turn to speak, but his mouth felt dry. Gerard gave him a pleading look, making Mikey realize how badly his brother wanted this. So he took a deep breath and fired back,

“Helped me what? Find a dealer who would actually sell me what I wanted?”

“No!” Gerard stepped closer. “Helped you stop! We could’ve done it together.”

“And we can’t now?”

“I don’t know. Are you going to keep bullshitting me about what you’re doing every night?”

Mikey found himself getting into his part. In a perfectly characterized voice he seethed,

“Are you?”

“It’s none of your business what I do.”

A hearty, sarcastic laugh escaped Mikey.

“You hypocrite! You fucking hypocrite! I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

Fuck, this story was more cliché than he imagined.

Gerard stepped even closer,

“I wish I could say the same about you. I know you want the drugs, and I won’t give those to you. That would be wrong. But I will give you what else I know you want.”

Mikey’s eyes widened. He wished he read this scene beforehand. After that line the stage directions read:  
[Josh steps in, grabbing Anthony and kissing him roughly]

He looked at Gerard, the gap between their faces closing quicker than Mikey would have liked.

Suddenly David’s voice boomed, 

“STOP! I’ve seen enough.” He grinned broadly.

With a jerk Gerard pulled away and the two on stage turned to look at David. Mikey heaved a sigh of relief. That had been close. Too close.

David remained smiling, 

“Congratulations, boys, I found my brothers.”

Mikey just stared at the director, 

“Excuse me?”

David smiled broadly.

“Well, not only did no one else try out, but you two are PERFECT.” He paused,

“Especially you, Gerard. You are Josh. And Mikey, I see you with Anthony’s feigned innocence. It’s just,” he paused again, “perfect.”

Gerard wore the biggest grin imaginable, but Mikey felt his stomach sinking. What had he just gotten himself into? He remembered the script in his hand and read further while David and his brother talked.

[Josh steps in, grabbing Anthony and kissing him roughly. The two remain in the embrace for a few moments before breaking apart. Josh grins.]  
Josh: “Maybe I do know you.”  
[Josh continues to grin as he walks away. Anthony is left alone with a puzzled look on his face.]  
BLACKOUT

His stomach dropped further. Oh. Joy. In a matter of weeks he’d be making out with his brother on stage. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. He spoke up, 

“Hey David?”

David’s attention snapped over to Mikey, 

“Yeah?”

“On this page Josh and Anthony are supposed to, like, make out, it looks like. Can we do this with a stage-kiss type thing?”

The director pondered this for a moment before replying, 

“You know, I never really believed in stage kisses. Even the audience can usually tell how fake it is. Why, is it a problem?”

That sinking feeling returned. Gerard turned to him, a worried look on his face. Mikey shrugged, 

“No, I was just curious what it is you’re expecting.”

The smile returned to David’s face, 

“Fabulous! Well, be here at 3pm again tomorrow and we’ll do a read through with the rest of the cast. Until then you can take those scripts home and flip through ‘em”

Gerard spoke, 

“Wait. The rest of the show is already cast?”

David’s smile faltered momentarily, 

“Well, yes. I mean. These two characters were the hardest to find people for. So, yes, the other parts have been filled for while.”

The older Way nodded.

“I guess that makes sense, yeah. So. 3 tomorrow. We’ll see you then!”

The two boys exited the stage, shaking David’s hand on their way out. Mikey still felt kind of sick.

 

*****

 

In the car on the way home, silence reigned for the first minute or two before Gerard broke it, 

“Something’s bothering you. What is it?”

It didn’t catch Mikey off guard; he knew the question would come up eventually. His brother never missed the slightest emotion he felt, even if Mikey himself didn’t know exactly what was up. He sighed, 

“Well, I’m sorry, but I still have to live with this if anyone at school finds out that I’m playing my brother’s lover in a play.”

He paused before continuing, 

“And… doesn’t it bother you? We have to act like we’re in love. We have to make out for Christ’s sake. That’s gonna be weird.”

It was Gerard’s turn to sigh, 

“Mikey, that’s why they call it ‘acting.’ It doesn’t have to be real.”

Another pause lingered in the air before he continued, 

“Besides, I do love you. You’re my brother. Acting like I’m ‘in love’ with you won’t be too much of a leap.”

The awkward silence continued another moment before Gerard ventured, 

“Don’t you feel the same way, when you think about it?”

“No,” Mikey thought, “I don’t.” What he actually said was,

“Of course I do. Still. I’m just worried about what could happen to me at school.”

His brother smiled, 

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

Mikey knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that he would. Truth be told, he wasn’t all that worried about school.

So what was bothering him so much? He couldn’t quite figure it out. Or, more likely, he knew exactly what acted as the source of his anxiety, but he just wouldn’t admit it. It takes a lot of effort to confess that you look forward to kissing your brother.

The car pulled into the driveway and its passengers exited, retreating into the household. Mom wasn’t home yet, nor was there any note left about where she went or when she’d return. Gerard flopped down onto the couch and Mikey continued up the stairs into his room. Collapsing onto his bed he grabbed a pillow and placed it over his face. He heard a surge of noise from the TV and took the opportunity to scream into the stuffed fabric. After removing the pillow from his face he stared up at the white ceiling. His gaze almost suggested that he expected the plaster to offer him an answer, though Mikey couldn’t even string the right words together in order to pose a question.

He rolled over to look at his clock. Wow, it was already 8pm. All of a sudden a wave of tiredness hit him. Once his clothes were shed and only boxers remained slung across his body, Mikey crawled under the soft sheets of the bed. The TV turned off and he heard Gerard walking up the stairs and into his room next door. Apparently he planned to turn in early, too. Considering the mentally draining events of the day, this seemed reasonable.

Mikey smiled. Ever since they were kids, the brothers made sure that their beds were placed so that the headboards touched the same place of the adjoining wall. It made Mikey feel safe and protected, even though Gerard wasn’t in the room. They used to joke that they sometimes shared dreams. Scarily enough, sometimes their theory proved true.

The one thing Mikey didn’t know is that one of those dreams was going to become a reality.

An hour or so after falling into a restless sleep, Mikey awoke to a strange noise. However, upon further assessing the situation, he realized the sound wasn’t unfamiliar. The sound of banging against the wall behind him and the incoherent mutters from Gerard’s room... Yeah. Ever since Gerard hit his teen years, Mikey endured the sounds of his brother getting off in the room next door. Luckily, Gerard never brought “friends” over, so at least he didn’t have to put up with two people’s noises. Sometimes a name slipped past his brother’s lips loud enough for Mikey to make it out, but usually he didn’t recognize them. Well, with the exception of that one time he distinctly heard “Frank” cried out in a strangled voice.

Mikey sighed. He wasn’t going to be able to fall back asleep until it was over, so he’d just have to wait it out. While glaring unseeingly at the ceiling he contemplated fighting fire with fire and putting Gerard through what he was currently enduring, though only after his older brother finally finished. But no, he wasn’t up for it tonight— he really just wanted to sleep.

Finally the banging and muttering ceased, so Mikey rolled over on his side, falling back asleep almost instantly. His dreams the rest of that night were filled with the sounds of pleasurable moans coming from an unknown source. Upon waking the next morning he felt very disturbed and very…. wet. WHAT?! Mikey ripped back the covers and looked down, peeling his boxers down slightly. Sure enough, a sticky white substance coated the inside of his thighs and stained the plaid fabric. Dammit. Now he not only was he even more creeped out by his subconscious, he also needed a shower.

He looked at the clock on his dresser. 7:19. Great, it was a weekend and he could have slept in, but Mikey knew he stood no chance of falling back asleep while feeling this gross.

With another sigh he heaved himself out of bed, thinking at least no one else should be up. Mikey stumbled into the hallway still wearing his messy boxers and grabbed a towel from the cupboard on his way to the bathroom. As he neared the door, he found it closed, with wisps off steam curling out from underneath the crack between the wood and tile floor. Shit! Gerard must have gotten up early, too. Before he had time to turn around and high tail it back to his room, the bathroom door opened. Gerard walked out, a towel wrapped loosely around his creamy hips. A grin played across his face, 

“Hey Mikes” He paused and looked his brother up and down, grinning wider before continuing, 

“Looks like you need a shower as bad as I did. Don’t worry; I didn’t use all the hot water.”

Gerard winked and started back down the hallway. Mikey stood in front of the entrance to the bathroom, red faced and mortified. Just before reaching his room, Gerard turned back around and called, 

“Remember we’ve gotta be at the theater at 3 today!”

Right, the read through, Mikey almost forgot all about it. Shaking his head, he stumbled through the door, shedding his boxers and tumbling into the shower, tossing the towel on the counter. He pulled at the tap, starting the cascade of water. “Just relax and get clean,” he told himself.


	2. Chapter 2

*****THREE WEEKS LATER*****

The rest of the cast proved nice enough people, Mikey thought, but he didn’t see himself leaving this experience all “buddy buddy” with any of them. Of course with the exception of Gerard, but they were already friends, so that hardly counted.

Rehearsals started only a couple of days after the full cast was chosen. The more he threw himself into the play, the more Mikey began to grow a fondness for it. If you thought about it, the script really did portray a good message, even if it was kind of cliché. He considered it to be cliché without being cliché, if that made any sense.

There ended up being an alarming twist to the whole situation. It apparently took so long to sort out legalities and procure a cast that they had just over four weeks from the day of Gerard and Mikey’s audition, which was 3 weeks ago, until opening night. The blocking of the play started almost immediately. The time passed shockingly quickly, and Mikey could hardly believe it had already been a little over 3 weeks since all this had begun. 

When they hit the point in rehearsals where Josh and Anthony were supposed to kiss, they just skipped through it. The assumption was that Mikey and Gerard could make that up perfectly well come opening night. This was both a relief and, somehow, a slight disappointment to Mikey. He shook the disappointment off as nerves.

At home, Gerard and Mikey ran lines every now and then. If they were bored or doing something together such as putting away groceries, they would take the time to just toss lines back and forth. But lately it seemed as though neither of them were home at the same time as the other. Gerard was out of the house a lot more often these days, and Mikey had no idea why. A lot of the time, when Gerard finally did return home, he’d go straight up to his room and lock himself in without so much as a “hello.” Mikey shrugged this behavior off just as one of Gerard’s phases. Even though, sometimes, he worried.

One Sunday afternoon when there was no actual rehearsal scheduled, both brothers lazed about the house, enjoying their time off. Mikey somehow managed to keep on top of all his homework that week, and was therefore left with nothing to do. The boys sprawled out on the couch watching something on TV. Mikey wasn’t even sure what it they were viewing—something on the History Channel, maybe? He had no clue. With a sigh Gerard grabbed the remote and clicked off the TV, turning to his little brother,

“I zoned out 30 minutes ago, you?”

Mikey jerked back to reality,

“What?”

“That’s what I thought.” Gerard chuckled before speaking again,

“What do you say we go up to my room and run through a couple of scenes?”

Mikey gave a faux-indignant sniff,

“Why not my room?”

Gerard shot him a pointed look,

“I can barely open your door the place is so filthy. No, we’re rehearsing in my room today.”

The younger brother laughed, because it was true. He could hardly get to his bed. Maybe he should work on cleaning the place up sometime…. Nah.

The two trucked up the stairs to Gerard’s room. Neither needed their scripts anymore; they knew their lines just fine as they were both quick memorizers. It was the execution of the words that they needed to practice.

In fact, it was only one scene that still seemed to present them with the most difficulty. It was the same scene they auditioned with; the confrontation between the two brothers. Somehow neither of them could get all the necessary power behind what they were saying. It was probably because neither of them were ever that angry at the other, so they had no experience to base the acting on. Yeah, yeah, Mikey knew it was called “acting” for a reason. Still, it was hard.

They ran through the scene about five times, stopping just short of the kissing bit. The 6th time around, Gerard looked at Mikey,

“Do you think we should actually try practicing this kiss thing?”

Mikey tried to mask the shock of horror that ran through him. He stuttered,

“N..no. I think we’ll be fine when the time comes. Why push the moment?”

Gerard raised an eyebrow,

“Ok then. Well, I don’t know about you, but I think we can stop for now.”

A sigh of relief escaped Mikey,

“Yeah, I like that idea.”

“In that case, I’m going out” Gerard stated.

“Where?” his brother inquired.

Gerard shot the younger Way a look he couldn’t quite figure out the meaning behind.

“No,” he said rather harshly before grabbing a black bag and quickly exiting the room.

Puzzled, Mikey padded out of the door and made the sharp right turn to get into his room. He flopped down on his bed and took a few deep breaths. That was a relatively close call back there. But why did he care so much? It’s not like that kiss was going to mean anything. Why the idea of practicing something that more than likely was worth preparing for, he just didn’t know. Maybe his issue was that it didn’t seem like something they should do unless it was solely for the value of portraying a story in front of an audience.

And what was up with Gerard? Where was he going that he couldn’t tell his little brother about? Again Mikey shrugged it off as nothing; Gerard probably just made some new friends and wanted some time with them without his kid brother tagging along. Still, even though he attempted to dismiss it as nothing, some part of the whole situation still bothered him.

One week, four days till curtain and counting.

 

*****

 

It seemed obvious that the combined stress of school and the play was starting to affect Mikey. With a little over a week until opening night, David demanded rehearsals every day. Most were at least 5 hours on weekdays, and next weekend there were 12 hour rehearsals planned each day. Though he still managed to keep his grades up, he lost many precious hours of sleep.

If it wasn’t bad enough that he didn’t have time to catch a few winks, Gerard’s recent behavior sure as hell didn’t help him out. He disappeared after rehearsals and came home in the wee hours of the morning, usually making a fair bit of noise. Mikey was lucky to get three or four hours of peace a night. Even while lying in bed, desperately exhausted, if Gerard wasn’t home he found himself worried sick about where his brother could possibly be and what he was doing.

At rehearsals, though, Gerard appeared as normal as ever. He threw himself into the role, responding enthusiastically to any challenge placed in front of him. Charming and funny, he made everyone around him feel at ease. Everyone, of course, except Mikey. The younger brother knew that something about Gerard wasn’t right, and seeing him act like everything was fine killed him. Something was wrong and he didn’t know what it was. 

Even at home, Gerard usually managed to act like his old self. That is, when he was actually home. Mikey rarely saw his brother these days, except at rehearsals. He missed the times he used to spend with Gerard; all the quality talks and the comforting words.  
One night they returned home from rehearsal and, once again, without a word Gerard was out the door again, black bag in hand, before Mikey even sat down. Though he didn’t hear the car start, he knew Gerard left. Deciding that he was sick of waiting up to make sure his brother returned home in one piece, he grabbed his jacket and raced out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Gerard got enough of a head start that Mikey could still see his back, but knew that he could follow at a safe distance without detection. Whenever Gerard rounded a corner, his heart beat faster, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t lose sight of his older brother for too long. He couldn’t risk losing him, not after he made it this far. They walked for what seemed like a long time, and were nearing a busier part of town. People sprung up everywhere and Mikey found it harder to keep track of Gerard’s progress. The more time passed, the colder it became, and soon his jacket wasn’t enough to keep the frigid air away from his skin. He shivered, still never taking his eyes off Gerard’s back.

Mikey could recognize his surroundings now; they were only a few blocks away from the theater. Why would Gerard come back down here at this time of night, and why wouldn’t he just drive? Again the older Way turned a corner, and this time Mikey knew exactly where he was headed. He sped up his pace, anxious to catch up. Gerard headed into an alleyway next to the theater that separated it from the adjacent crumbling abandoned building.

Mikey stopped just short of turning the corner into the alley. Every part of his body shook in fear of what he would see. With a deep breath he pivoted into the dark space, lit only by faint moonlight. A pained cry escaped him when he saw his brother’s huddled form slumped on the ground.

Leaning against one of the filthy walls sat Gerard, bent over his right arm with the sleeve raised, a full injection needle hovering over his blue veins. The black backpack lay carelessly open beside him, displaying an array of needles, vials, and bags of different colored pills. Upon closer inspection a stash of hundred dollar bills lay amongst the scattered items. Mikey couldn’t believe it—his brother, his own brother, sold drugs. Not only did he sell them, somewhere along the line he became a heroine addict.

Hearing the cry, Gerard’s head whipped around and his eyes quickly found Mikey’s. The look on his face turned from mixed pain and pleasure to pure horror. He tossed the still-full needle into his bag which he hurriedly zipped shut before running over to his little brother. Mikey trembled violently and began heaving uncontrollable sobs. Gerard attempted to put his arms around the hysterical boy, but Mikey pulled away quickly. Still sobbing he screamed,

“Don’t TOUCH me. Don’t FUCKING TOUCH me!”

Gerard stood there lost for words, still trying to figure out how Mikey found him in the first place. Mikey spoke, his words laced with tears but his voice loud and steady,

“Christ, Gerard, why didn’t you tell me? If you’d told me I could have helped you!”

Now Gerard’s face turned to one of anger.

“Helped me what?” he seethed.

“Helped you stop!”

“And now you can’t?”

Mikey’s head felt clouded by rage and despair, but he couldn’t help thinking that this all sounded oddly familiar. He pressed on,

“I don’t know. Are you going to keep bullshitting me about what you’re doing every night?”

No response.

“Are you?!” Mikey’s voice reached a screaming pitch at this point.

Gerard’s voice was a whisper,

“It’s none of your business what I do.”

Mikey couldn’t help but laugh derisively. For all those times Gerard interrogated him about his whereabouts on school nights, for all those times he forced him to talk about what was going on his life, the man couldn’t claim the right to feed him this crap right now. With a sarcastic sneer he said,

“You hypocrite! You fucking hypocrite! I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

This sounded really familiar now. Hadn’t he said that exact line sometime before?

Gerard’s eyes narrowed, then he grinned. His mouth opened and words fell from it in one fluid statement,

“I wish I could say I don’t know who you are, either. But I do. I know what you want. And even if it’s not drugs, it’s just as bad. But I’ll give you what you want.”

That sounded way too much like…. No, no there was no way.

Suddenly Gerard had Mikey close to him, their faces separated by a scant few inches. Mikey felt Gerard’s breath on his face for a only split second before his lips went crashing into Gerard’s. The older brother kissed him roughly, forcing his mouth open without mercy and slamming his tongue against Mikey’s. Helpless by the force of the kiss, Mikey went limp in his brother’s arms. This continued for about 5 seconds before Gerard ripped himself away from Mikey, pushing him backward. The two stared at each other, faces somehow expressionless.

Out of the blue, they heard a slow clap begin behind them. Both boys whipped around to stare down the dark alleyway. A figure slowly approached them, still clapping. The person’s face began to emerge in the moonlight.

It was David. He witnessed the whole scene. A grin spread across his face when he spoke,

“I knew as soon as you two walked in the door that I found the greatest fucking actors in Jersey. The only thing that makes acting better is when it’s real.”

It was real, wasn’t it? Gerard was using drugs. Mikey discovered it. Worse, Mikey really didn’t know his brother anymore. He felt his heart shatter as he looked once more at Gerard, whose head fell forward, hung heavily in shame. The older Way lifted his head to look at Mikey, muttering “I’m sorry” before running away from the scene.

Left alone with David, whose smile faded with Gerard’s departure, Mikey could do nothing but simply stand there, unable to think and unable to feel. Eventually, David took the boy’s hand and led him to his car, offering to take him home.

Silence reigned during the brief drive, and once they reached the Way house, it was no surprise that Gerard didn’t appear to be home. Mikey felt grateful for this, knowing he couldn’t face his brother tonight. After thanking David for driving him home he practically flew up to his room, diving into the safety of welcoming bed sheets, still fully clothed. Unable to sort out his whirlwind of complicated emotions, he just cried. He cried for what seemed an eon, finally exhausting himself to the point of falling in to a deep sleep, meaning Mikey didn’t have to think of what could possibly happen in the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!

Mikey’s eyes flew open as he awoke to the familiar sounds of a headboard slamming against the wall behind him, the relentless noise periodically punctured by loud moans. He still lay facedown on his bed, fully clothed. 

What. The. Hell? 

Multiple things about this situation were incredibly wrong. First, that bastard had the nerve to come home after what had happened. Second, he clearly suffered no qualms about jerking off manically, thereby waking up his already distraught little brother. “Fucker probably took the drugs somewhere else,” Mikey thought bitterly.

He rolled over onto his side, grabbing a pillow to cover his ears. It didn’t help, but he liked to think it did. Mikey sighed and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to wash back over him. Though he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep until Gerard finished, it couldn’t hurt to at least be ready when the time came (pun intended.) Suddenly he heard something that made his blood run cold. Amidst the groaning and banging, one word rang loud and clear,

“MIKEEEYYYY!”

Again his eyes flew open. No. He did not just hear that. That fucking bastard! Mikey jumped from his bed in one fluid motion, storming towards the door. Out in the hallway he turned sharply and flung open the entrance to his brother’s room. Gerard lay on his bed, boxers still around his ankles, panting, covered in himself. The younger Way took in the sight for a split second before continuing to the bed. 

He glared down at Gerard, whose eyes were still closed even though he had to know Mikey was there. The set of eyes before him fluttered open, and Gerard’s face wore an expression of pleasure, his lips parted, still breathing heavily. Without even knowing what he was doing, they both heard a loud CRACK as Mikey’s hand swept across Gerard’s face, swift and hard. The glaring continued, and now Gerard’s expression turned to one clearly displaying pain, hurt and guilt. They said nothing before Mikey walked out and back to his own room, flinging himself once more upon the bed.

The thought crept into his mind before he could stop it—were he not so upset, he might have enjoyed that. Repulsed by himself and his brother, Mikey curled up into a little ball, welcoming the exhaustion that flooded him almost instantly. He could avoid the morning a little bit longer.

The next morning sunlight poured into his room and Mikey groaned. How could a day that promised to be so painful also look so damn cheerful? He swiped a small string of drool off his face before trudging downstairs in search of something to eat. It amazed him how he could possibly be hungry right now. Before heading to the kitchen he craned his neck to look down the hall, insuring that Gerard’s door was safely closed.

In the kitchen he ran into his mother, who looked like it would be a matter of moments before she crashed out the door hurriedly on her way to work. Thank God, Mikey thought. The last thing he wanted to do was explain to her what had happened. Still, she found time before she practically flew out the front door to ask,

“Do you know if Gerard came home last night? I saw that his door was closed, but I don’t know if he’s here or not.”

Mikey nodded,

“Yeah, he’s home.”

His mother smiled and thanked him before rushing out to the car, shutting the door behind her. 

Now that he thought of it, he really wasn’t that hungry. Abandoning the bowl he took out of the cupboard, Mikey made his way back upstairs, grabbing a clean towel on the way to his mom’s bathroom.

His mother maintained control of the master bathroom, named such because it was the one with a luxuriously large bathtub. She always cleaned out the tub after every use to make sure that it was ready when she wanted it next. A variety of candles littered the counter space surrounding the large basin along with soaps, bath fizzies, bubble mixtures, and all different sorts of bathing goodies. Mikey only used the bathroom a couple of times before when he’d been very stressed or extremely distraught. He figured that this qualified as one of those times. Though she was indeed very nit-picky about its condition, mom wasn’t overly protective of the bathroom. Therefore, if you cleaned up after yourself, you were welcome to use it. Usually, though, it wasn’t worth the hassle.

Now, Mikey shut the blinds and lit the candles, turning off all the lights before starting to run the steaming water. He stripped and sat naked on the edge of the tub, sighing before choosing an expensive bubble bath concoction to pour into the water. Yeah, he’d probably (literally) pay for that choice later, but right now it didn’t matter. Pristine white bubbles sprung up from the water and Mikey ran his hand under the tap. The water began to run cold, a sign that it was time to stop filling the tub. He figured he’d need the water hot for as long as possible.

Lowering himself in, the hot water almost scalded him. But it felt so good, so purifying. The scent of the candles mingling with the smell of the bubble bath sent his mind into a blissfully blank state. Bubbles tickled the upper part of his chest that protruded from the water. With another sigh Mikey’s mind completely wandered off and he mercifully checked out from reality. 

Mikey stayed like this for a long time, probably about an hour, before the door to the bathroom creaked open. By the time he came to, all the bubbles had disappeared, and Gerard’s face floated in the air next to him.

Water sloshed dangerously close to the sides as Mikey’s body jerked. This man, his brother, was getting awfully good at scaring the shit out of him.

“Gerard, what do you want?” Mikey screeched.

He glared up at his brother, who sat somberly on the edge of the tub. Gerard remained motionless and silent, head hung. The silence continued for moments more, penetrated only by the sounds of water swishing back into a still pool. 

Gerard’s voice quavered and cracked when he tried to speak,

“Mikey… I’m sorry… I was an asshole. I’ve been an asshole through this whole thing…”

At this Mikey let out a heartless laugh, 

“Oh, you think? What gave you that idea?” The sarcasm dripped from his voice.

Now it was Gerard’s turn to glare. His head rose slightly to stare his little brother straight in the eyes, 

“Let me finish,” he growled.

Gerard took a deep breath before continuing, 

“About last night. It’s not like I can lie to you and tell you that you didn’t see what you saw. Yeah, I’ve been selling, for about a month now. Because of the play, you know I had to quit my job, but I still needed money. One of Bert’s acquaintances got me into it.”

Mikey snorted, causing Gerard to glare at him again as he went on,

“But now I’m going to tell you the truth, whether you believe me or not. I know I owe you that much, for all the lying I’ve been doing.”

Gerard made sure to look directly at his little brother again.

“I never even tried to do any drugs until last night. And, as you know, you caught me right before I got the chance. So I still never have.”

He got up and started to pace the room, still talking,

“It’s just with the stress of the play and the stress of lying to you and everything else, I thought, maybe, the people who bought the shit I sold knew something I didn’t.” 

The pacing stopped, and Gerard turned to face Mikey, waiting for some sort of reply to all this.

Tears started to stream silently down both of their faces. For his part, Mikey didn’t know whether he could believe Gerard. It was obvious he’d done a lot of lying already, why would this be any different? But when he saw his older brother’s eyes glimmering with tears, he knew somehow that his honest, loving sibling was finally shining through again. This was the Gerard he missed all this time. God, what was this fucking play doing to them?

The tears were too much, and Gerard walked back to the tub, pulling a damp Mikey as much into his arms as possible from the younger’s seated position. It was just like things used to be; the two of them wordlessly comforting each other. An unspoken forgiveness passed between them.

But in reality, nothing was, or ever again would be, like it used to be. Something still plagued Mikey’s thoughts. He remembered earlier that morning, hearing Gerard scream his name. What had that been about?

When they finally pulled away, Mikey took the time to study Gerard’s face. A large red blotch indicated where he slapped him only hours before. Mikey reached up and stroked the mark gingerly, causing the eldest Way to wince. 

“I’m sorry about that…” Mikey murmured.

This caused Gerard to grin slightly, 

“I deserved it. And really, it was kind of nice to see that you actually DO have an angry side.”

The twosome’s laughter rang through the bathroom. Wow, it felt so good to laugh, causing the feeling of a large weight being lifted from the atmosphere of the room. That is, until Mikey came back to reality, remembering exactly what caused him to storm into Gerard’s room. His face grew serious again,

“Gerard, I have to ask you something.”

Gerard’s face turned back to one of guilt. He knew what his little brother was about to ask, but he couldn’t bring himself to say something first. So Mikey expelled a long sigh before continuing,

“This morning when I… heard you, you called my name.”

Gerard nodded. Now the big question.

“Why?”

It was Gerard’s turn to sigh. How do you answer a question like that? “With the truth,” he guessed. He took a moment to gather his thoughts before replying,

“I guess it’s really kind of simple. I love you, Mikey.”

This was the kind of answer Mikey expected—vague and simplistic, yet straight to the point.

This proved to be a morning of truths, didn’t it? The boy in the tub sighed. “Fuck words,” he decided, the time for talking was over.

The distance between them was still too much, so Mikey crooked his finger, beckoning his brother forward. As Gerard leaned in, Mikey did the same, until only and inch or two of space remained between their faces. Energy flashed between the two for a number of seconds as they hovered there, their breathing becoming more and more labored, one waiting for the other to close the gap.

Later they wouldn’t be sure who had, in fact, moved first. But the next thing they knew was the sensation of their warm lips upon each other. It was a sweet kiss, a tender kiss, a kiss that lasted only a few moments before pulling apart.

They looked at each other, still slightly breathless from the moment of intimacy. It seemed like, in that instant, the full weight of what was happening fell upon them. This wasn’t right, and yet it was SO right. The brotherly love bubbling to the surface wasn’t just acting. Was that okay?

But after another look into each others eyes, neither could doubt that everything was, in fact, perfect.

The two dove at each other, this kiss far from tame, but frenzied, needy.

It was a good thing that mom was out for most of the day.

That morning in the bathtub, only one week remained until opening night.


	5. Chapter 5

Now, one week away, life was more intense than ever.

Obviously, Gerard and Mike made up. Hell, they made out… and then some. Even though they were happy to be together at last, now they bore the added stress of hiding their feelings towards each other from, well, everybody. Mikey had finals to study for and Gerard worked at finding ways to re-direct all of his former “customers”.

Of course, play practices were longer and more frequent than ever. David kept them in that theater until the wee hours of the morning some nights, but Mikey could see where it paying off; everything was coming together. It wasn’t so much that he worried the play wouldn’t go well; he knew it’d be great. No, rather it was the fact that in one week, the curtain would go up, and he would play his brother’s lover in front of the entire community. And he wouldn’t just be acting. By now, his major issue manifested as an acute paranoia that someone would realize their onstage chemistry was actually something more. 

David’s words kept ringing through his head. “The only thing that makes acting better is when it’s real.”

But they were being so careful, and they were so happy. Why would anything ruin that? The play would be great, they’d simply be praised as fantastic actors, and no one would know. Everything would be fine.

Mikey let out a deep breath. Everything would be fine. Smiling, he turned back to the open books on his desk. Peering at the alarm clock next to his bed, 1:30am glared back at him in green. He groaned. It was probably time for him to go to bed; another long couple of days still lay ahead of him. After stripping down to his boxers he crawled under the down comforter, rested his head on his pillow, and silently prayed that Gerard wouldn’t make too much noise tonight.

 

*****

 

9pm the Friday evening before opening night found Mikey in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet, heaving. David let them out of rehearsal an hour ago, saying there was nothing more they could do and things would be as they were, ready or not. He then wished everyone a good night’s sleep so as to be prepared for the next day.

Mikey wasn’t ready. School and the constant fear of he and Gerard being found out started to affect him not only emotionally, but physically. He found it difficult to eat, and when he did, he couldn’t seem to keep anything down. His mother began to worry, suggesting that maybe this play wasn’t the best idea. The idea of not performing in the play at this point was preposterous— it opened tomorrow! “Oh shit,” at that thought Mikey heaved again. 

Gerard walked in, closing the door behind him. He kneeled down beside Mikey, rubbing the younger boy’s back in a soothing manner, swiping the stray hairs out of his face. When he finished, Mikey rose, wiping his mouth and turning to the sink to splash his face with water. After washing up and brushing his teeth, Mikey turned to face a still silent Gerard, falling into his arms, sobbing,

“I can’t do this, Gee. I can’t do this.”

Gerard ran his fingers through his brother’s hair, waiting until the cries subsided to offer up his thoughts. Holding Mikey back far enough to look into his eyes, he said,

“Mikey. You can do this, you know you can.”

Gerard grinned,

“And even if you can’t, you will.”

At this Mikey gave a little giggle, swiping at his dripping nose with his sleeve. Of course Gerard was right. What choice did he have? And it’d be over soon, anyways. The show only ran for two weeks: six performances total. He’d take his finals next week and be left with only a couple more until graduation. Then he’d be out of this town as fast as he could, hopefully with Gerard by his side. Mikey grinned. Of course he’d get through this. Besides, it not like he was alone.

Mikey leaned in to kiss his brother softly. Pulling away he declared that he should probably go to bed. He’d need all his energy tomorrow.

Two hours after trying to go to sleep, Mikey still lay awake, staring at the ceiling. He’d hear Gerard get into bed about an hour ago. Who knew if he was asleep yet or not? Mikey let out a grunt, Gerard could sleep no matter what might be plaguing him. God knows he’d proved this before.

Sighing, Mikey rolled out of bed, reaching his door in one fluid motion. He opened it softly, making the sharp turn into Gerard’s room. As he entered the older Way’s room, he whispered,

“Gee, are you still awake?”

A sigh came from the bed in front of him,

“Unfortunately. Get your ass in this bed, stop standing around in your underwear.”

Mikey practically skipped to his brother’s bed, lifting the blankets and curling up beside him. Gerard wrapped his arms around Mikey’s frail body, pulling him as close as physically possible. They didn’t say anything, just lay there together. Eventually, the rhythm of each others breathing lulled them both off to sleep.

 

*****

 

The next morning, silence ruled the Way household. Their mom made them both a breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and hot chocolate. Breakfast was silent affair, and lunch ended up no different. Their parents spent the day doing yard work, while the brothers mostly kept to themselves in their respective rooms. 

Mikey frantically read over his script at least 10 times before realizing he knew his lines, so it wouldn’t do him any good to try cramming anything more into his exhausted brain.

In fact, outside of two meals, Gerard and Mikey barely saw each other that day until it came time to get ready to head for the theater. They met in the kitchen at around 4pm, said goodbye to their parents, hopped into the car and drove off.

No words were exchanged on the way to the theater. Both boys acknowledged the fact that the other probably just needed the time to mentally prepare. Regardless of the the fact that they knew their lines and blocking, this was still going to be an emotionally exhausting evening. There’s no predicting an audience’s reactions.

 

*****

 

A speed through rehearsal, costuming and makeup application later, Mikey and Gerard sat in the wings, waiting for David to call places. “Ha, oh David,” Mikey thought. David had been running around like a chicken with his head cut off all afternoon. If he thought HE’D been stressed, Mikey was nothing compared to David. Since about two weeks before opening night, Mikey noticed a significant decline in David’s weight, and sense of humor. Even though they went in and explained the situation (leaving out their newly formed relationship) to him, David still slipped Gerard and Mikey sly, suggestive looks every now and then. 

A firm hand on his shoulder tore Mikey out of his thoughts. It was Gerard giving him a friendly squeeze and offering a quick smile. Leaning close to his younger brother’s ear, he whispered “I’d give you a good luck kiss, but I’d hate to ruin your makeup.”

Mikey giggled and playfully slapped Gerard’s hand away before David’s voice rang loud and clear backstage,

“PLACES! Break a leg, everybody.”

 

*****

 

“If you’d told me I could’ve helped you!”

Gerard’s voice rang loud and clear across the stage and through the theater. Mikey got into character so quickly this evening, he hardly believed it. Right on cue he shot back,

“Helped me what? Find a dealer who would actually sell me what I wanted?”

His older brother neared him, grabbing his shoulders and shouting, 

“No! Helped you stop! We could’ve done it together.”

Mikey stepped out of Gerard’s grip, 

“And we can’t now?”

A sigh escaped Gerard, miraculously not overdramatized. Shaking his head he replied, 

“I don’t know. Are you going to keep bullshitting me about what you’re doing every night?

“Are you?” Mikey fired the question at him like a missile.

“It’s none of your business what I do.”

After a hearty, sarcastic laugh Mikey shouted, 

“You hypocrite! You fucking hypocrite! I don’t know who you are any more.”

Tears started to drop silently down his cheeks. Mikey took a moment to wonder where THOSE were coming from.

Gerard turned and rushed at Mikey, stopping just in front of him. In a low, hoarse voice he said, 

“I wish I could say the same about you. I know you want the drugs, and I won’t give those to you. That would be wrong. But I will give you what else you want.”

Mikey slid his eyes to the audience. Their parents sat dead center in the front row. He made a silent prayer, “please forgive us,” before Gerard’s mouth slid against his and the curtain began closing.

The two boys pulled away from each other when the curtain closed, making a show of wiping their mouths as they walked off stage. Thankfully, neither of them was in the next scene, so they had a minute to reapply their lipstick and gather their thoughts.

In front of the mirror, Mikey painted his brother’s lips before attending to his own. When he finished, he turned to Gerard and asked, 

“Did you see mom and dad?”

The smile he previously wore vanished as he replied, 

“Yeah. I did. We never… told them that was going to happen, did we?”

Mikey shook his head, 

“No. We were afraid they’d tell us to drop the play.”

Gerard’s head rocked back as he laughed, 

“They probably still will, now. But oh well,” he winked, “we’ll just sic David on ‘em to explain how brilliant we are.”

Both boys giggled on their way out of the greenroom, returning to the stage wings. After the blackout, they rushed into their positions for the next scene.

 

*****

 

Once the curtain call finished, the brothers were rushed into the lobby to the sounds of thunderous applause only just beginning to die down. This was the moment they’d been dreading; facing their community members at the end of all this, answering questions, ultimately being force to “own up” to their actions. They had a response rehearsed and ready, 

“It’s called acting for a reason.”

As people began to file out of the theater into the lobby, Gerard and Mikey could be found near the concessions counter. It seemed as though they went unnoticed at first, until one person recognized who they were. Then the mass of people didn’t seem to ebb away.

Yes, there were questions. Had they acted before? What had the hours of rehearsal been like? Why did they decide to try out for the play? How did they feel about the “moments of intimacy?” The two managed to field all the questions reasonably and tactfully, without revealing anything potentially embarrassing or damaging. 

Then, out of the crowd, emerged their parents. But instead of the somber faces the Way brothers expected, they both wore wide smiles and embraced their sons in huge hugs accompanied by pats on the back. They congratulated their boys for developing such fine acting skills and bravely accepting “untraditional” roles. Gerard and Mikey looked at each other, grinning and shrugging. What was the point in not enjoying this?

 

*****

 

At home that night, after their parents were in bed, Mikey curled up in Gerard’s arms. They weren’t speaking, just smiling. Neither could believe how well everything played out. Mikey raised his face to meet Gerard’s eyes.

“Gerard,” he said, “do you think every other night is going to go as well as this performance?”

Gerard sighed, 

“I don’t know, Mikes. It depends on who’s there.” He paused, “Are you worried about, you know, one of your classmates coming, or something?”

Mikey lowered his head once more to Gerard’s chest, 

“Kind of. I mean, I don’t think anyone who’d beat the shit out of me would even come to see it. I guess I’ll just see what happens.

The older Way kissed the top of his younger brother’s head.

“You know I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Mikey’s head raised back up. He smiled.

“I know.” Another pause. “I love you, Gee.”

Gerard smiled as well.

“I love you, too, Mikey.”

The gap between their faces closed and they settled into a soft kiss. Silently, Mikey cursed his parents for being home. When they pulled away, Mikey took a deep breath, preparing himself to ask a potentially dangerous question, 

“Gee” he began, “You don’t think you’ll ever actually, you know, go back to the… the drug, thing, do you?”

When Gerard smiled Mikey let out a sigh of relief which turned to small giggle after Gerard’s response, 

“You’re drug enough for me. Let’s see, you cloud my sensible thinking and can, well, make parts of my body overly sensitive.”

Gerard pulled Mikey into another kiss. After breaking away, Mikey settled himself comfortably into his brother’s arms. Like they had so many times in the past, and would so many times in the future, the two boys fell asleep like this; lulled to sleep by the steady beat of the others heart. 

And no matter what the future threw at them, they knew they’d make their way through it together. Brothers, forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another old MCR fic. I'm breaking this one in to a few chapters, since I don't possess the patience to edit all of it at once :P


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